Oral Sex Tips: How to Make It Amazing Both Ways

Great oral sex is less about technique and more about taking your time, being curious and paying attention to the body in front of you. Start slow, keep a steady rhythm once it works and let your partner show you what they like. Here are practical tips, whether you're giving or receiving.

Updated September 29, 2026

Oral sex basics that apply to everyone

For a lot of people oral sex is the most intimate thing you can do. It's close, it's seen and it's felt, and it asks the receiver to really let go. That's why good oral sex starts long before your mouth gets there. With kisses, hands and a sense that nothing is rushed.

• Take your time. Kiss your way down, along the belly and the inner thighs. The waiting makes the rest better.
• Use your whole mouth. Lips, tongue, breath. A soft, broad tongue, or a pointed, light one. Mix it up until you find what works.
• Keep the rhythm once it clicks. When your partner starts breathing harder, don't switch. Same pace, same motion, and for longer than you think.
• Bring your hands. Your mouth doesn't have to do everything. Hands holding hips, stroking or helping out make a big difference.
• Listen. Sounds, breathing and hips say more than words. If it goes quiet and still, try something else.

Many couples treat oral as part of foreplay, others as the main event. Both are right. For more ways to build the mood, see our foreplay tips.

Oral sex on a vulva

Most of it is about the clitoris, and about not heading there too soon. The glans of the clitoris is very sensitive, so start around it and let the body get aroused first.

How to do it

1. Start on the outside. Kiss and breathe against the inner thighs, the mons and the outer labia. Linger.
2. Lick slowly upward. With a broad, soft tongue, from the vaginal opening up toward the clitoris. A few times, unhurried.
3. Find the clitoris. Play around it, over the hood and along the sides before touching it directly. Try small circles, up and down or side to side.
4. Stay there. When you find something that works, keep doing exactly that. This is where the most common mistake happens, changing things right as it starts to build.
5. Add fingers if you both like it. One or two fingers inside, pressing gently up toward the belly, while your tongue keeps going.

TipTry gently sucking the clitoris with your lips, like a soft kiss that stays. For many people it's more intense than the tongue. Start carefully, it can become too much quickly.

Oral sex on a penis

The head and the underside just below it, where the skin meets in a small ridge, are the most sensitive spots. But the whole shaft, the balls and the skin behind them can feel great with some attention too.

How to do it

1. Tease first. Kiss and lick along the shaft and around the head before you take it into your mouth.
2. Keep your teeth out of the way. Let your lips cover your teeth and keep your mouth soft.
3. Use your hand as an extension. Hold the shaft with a wet hand and move it at the same pace as your mouth. That way you only take in what feels good.
4. Focus on the head. Your tongue around the head and along the underside often does more than going deep.
5. Don't forget the balls. Kiss, lick or cup them gently. Light pressure just behind them can feel good too.

You don't have to go deep for it to feel amazing. Deep throat is something some people love and others don't at all, and you can explore it slowly if you both want to. Agree beforehand on where things end up, so nobody gets surprised.

Not sure what the other one wants? In Hintt you each answer questions about sex privately, and only what you both say yes to shows up.

Positions for oral sex

A comfy position means you can both keep going for a long time. The giver's neck and jaw shouldn't have to struggle.

• The classic. The receiver lies on their back with a pillow under their hips, the giver lies between their legs. Simple and comfortable.
• Edge of the bed. The receiver sits on the edge, the giver kneels on the floor with a pillow under their knees.
• On top. The receiver straddles the giver's face and controls pressure and pace. Many people love the control, and the giver doesn't have to hold their head up.
• Standing. One leans against a wall, the other kneels. More charged, a bit less comfy.
• 69. You give and receive at the same time. Fun, but it can be hard to focus on both. Lying on your sides is often the most comfortable.

For more ways to lie together, and how to make them comfier, see our sex positions for couples.

Receiving oral sex

It can be harder than it sounds. Lots of people lie there thinking about how they look, taste or smell, or that it's taking too long. Those thoughts make it hard to enjoy.

• Remind yourself your partner wants to be there. Whoever is giving is doing it because they enjoy it.
• Forget the clock. It's allowed to take time. Nobody is counting minutes.
• Show what you like. A hand in their hair, hips moving closer, a “there” or “a little softer.”
• Breathe and let go. Drop your shoulders and let your legs fall open. A resting body feels more.

TipPlay with hot and cold. Take a sip of warm tea or hold an ice cube in your mouth before you carry on. The contrast wakes up the skin, both ways.

Four ways to make it feel new again

• Change the place. The kitchen counter, the shower or the couch in the middle of the day feels completely different from bed at eleven.
• Blindfold. When the receiver can't see, every touch becomes a surprise.
• Mouth only. The giver keeps their hands behind their back. It forces new ways of using lips and tongue.
• A full fifteen minutes for one of you. No switching, no rushing. One lies still and receives, and next time you swap.

Talk about it, before and during

Oral sex is one of the areas where couples most often guess instead of ask. One might be longing for more, the other has no idea how to bring it up. A simple “What do you like best when I do it?” over breakfast can change a lot. In the moment, short words are enough. “More.” “Slower.” “Keep doing exactly that.”

If you want to make it more playful, take turns being in charge, or let a die decide what happens next. You'll find more ideas among our sex games for couples. And if there are things you've never dared to say, our guide on how to talk about sex with your partner is a good place to start.

Hygiene and protection, briefly

A shower beforehand helps the receiver relax, but bodies are supposed to smell and taste like bodies. STIs can spread through oral sex, so if you haven't been tested or you're new to each other, use a condom or a dental dam. They come flavored, and they make more difference to peace of mind than to how it feels.